corrina page is a fictional character made up entirely in my imagination. any resemblance to real people, places, and/or things is completely coincidental and should be taken as such.
WARNING: The following may contain adult oriented material.
jan 00 | nov 99 | oct 99 | sep 99 | aug 99 | jul 99 | oct 98 | aug 96 | jul 96 | may-jun 96
with open arms and a smiling countenance i embrace you, awaiting the moment when
i can plunge my canines into the soft flesh of your throat and initiate you into my world...
May 30, 1996
The blood thirst today was almost uncontrollable. I wasn't sure if I'd make all the way through work. Gabe came and leaned over me and I could smell his flesh, could feel the warmth coming off of his neck. I couldn't concentrate while he was trying to show me the changes he'd made, god, I wanted to eat him. I find myself thinking about people more and more. But I'm not ready to kill, I'm scared. Like Louis, I've had to subsist on rats and dogs. But unlike him, my reasons are not so noble - I'm only afraid of being caught. I haven't been able to give up the fear of punishment my human experience has instilled in me. And it's costing me a goddamn fortune at the pet store- I refuse to even consider living off os sewer rats and stray dogs - diseases. Petty human worries. But even Louis let go eventually - I will, too, I just have to learn to lose my human impulses. I have yet to learn the extent of my new existence. I can almost understand the complete amnesty my immortality now affords me, but I can't taste it yet - when I do, I will live.
June 2, 1996
I got Gabe to go out with me this weekend. I've been after him since he started working for us. Mmmmmm, he is so sexy. He wore black jeans and a plain black t-shirt - very simple, very sexy. They were Lucky jeans and they hugged his ass so nice! I love Lucky jeans. I was cold to him all night, no, not cold, just a little distant - I didn't want him to know how bad I wanted him. We went to that little club on Sunset, topless go-go girls all over the place, and he was very sauve - paying close attention to me and not too much attention to the girls - I would've liked it more if he'd paid just a little bit more attention to them. Oh, well. We danced most of the night, and drank, of course. When we first got in, we sat down at the bar, and ordered drinks, then danced, then sat back at the bar for a while. We were talking and he put his hand on my thigh, and I let him rub my thigh up and down, up and down, but I didn't let him do that for too long - I didn't want to give it all away too soon. He wanted to come home with me, but I don't fuck on the first date so I brushed him off - god he wants me!! If I weren't trying to make such a good impression, I think I would let him come home and given him a taste of what we both wanted. Fuck impressions.
June 4, 1996
Gabe didn't come into work today :-(. Oh well, I can't base my whole existence on the arrival and departure of one insignificant man (who says he's insignificant!) But forget Gabe for now, I've got bigger things to think about. For one thing, my skin's been extremely itchy lately. Itchy, itchy, itchy - god it drives me insane, I can feel it right now, itching like mad, like little, tiny bugs crawling all over my body making me itch everywhere. I wish I could do something, anything to make it go away. It must just be part of the change - at least I hope it's just part of the change. It should go away soon, right? Oh god, I gotta go itch.
June 5, 1996
The itching hasn't subsided. Teeth are definitely coming in.
June 10, 1996
When I got up this morning, there was all this flaky stuff in the bed - I've finally shed all my human skin. My new skin is thicker, smoother, whiter, almost transluscent. I could stare at myself all day in the mirror, god, I just look so different. I could pet my new skin all day long - it's so splendidly soft and smooth. God, it's so smooth, I'll never have to wear powder again, and I look so beautiful, so radiant. I wonder if I actually look as good as I think I do, or if it's just my newfound perception of myself, what with my new skin, and fine-tuned senses, how could I not feel good? Ha, and silly humans, I can venture out in the sun, what nonsense. I had been so brainwashed by tales of vampires exploding in the sun that even when I knew it wasn't true I was still afraid. Til yesterday - I had to go outside to look for food, I hadn't eaten in a while, and it's true - we can expose ourselves to the sun - it's pure drivel to be told otherwise. I have to admit the cow I feasted on was not so pleasant. He was a big stinking beast - I'm afraid that when I start feeding on humans it will be little better. And my teeth, my feeding teeth seem to appear when I have a taste for blood. Like a mother's breast that leaks when she hears her baby crying, so too my teeth, at the slightest hunger, will evolve. I can control it - if I think really hard I can make them recede - believe me this ability has kept me out of suspicion on two occasions already. Close calls.
June 13, 1996
I was at the grocery store today buying some stuff cause Gabe was coming over for dinner, and I haven't fed for some time - I've been really busy with work, and sometimes I'm fine for a few days without feeding at all. Anyway, I went down the meat isle, and I was just drooling all over the place, the fangs came out and it was kind of embarassing. I just kept my mouth shut and thought about baseball and quickly walked out of that isle. I ended up making spaghetti for Gabe. This is the third time we've hung out now outside of work - I suppose you could call it dating. He brought wine (I don't know the first thing about wine so who knows if it was good wine or bad?), and, of course, flowers. Dinner went pretty good, then we watched Tank Girl. God, I've never seen Lori Petty look so good!! She looked like Madonna in some parts - they made her up real good. Course, we didn't exactly watch the whole movie... But he didn't spend the night - we have to work tomorrow.
June 15, 1996
O.k, so last night was the BIG night!! He spent the night and we did it. Of course, the first time you do it you have to do it in the conventional on-the-bed-male-on-top position, but after a couple of those I'll be able to do things to him he won't forget!! Oh, almost forgot - he was a decent fuck, but should be able to do better with little coaching. And I finally bought my tickets for RubberFest!!
June 18, 1996
Dyed my hair today for the RubberFest - it's bright red! Had to fucking strip my hair twice because it's become so very very black - a gorgeous color, but very much a pain in the ass when trying to dye it bright colors. Anyway, am very excited about it. I've got my clothes all laid out, baby, and I am looking fine!
June 20, 1996
Tomorrow's the BIG night!!!!!!
June 21, 1996
I am so excited!! I've got my gear on (sheer stockings with a backseam, the leather garter with the metal rings, my ankle boots with the straps that go up the calves with the 6 inch heels, a Catherine Coatney sheer, very short, tutu-like skirt, and a black leather Doris corset, and, of course, leather gloves and a riding crop for smacking those tight behinds!). Makeup looking like perfection, care of Chris, and every hair in its place. Aria should be here any minute - oh, speak of the devil - I'll fill you in when I get back!!!!!!!
June 23, 1996
The 'Fest was fabulous! Lots of young new designers this time in the fashion show. Oh, the most gorgeous stuff you've ever seen (I know I say that everytime I go to one of these!). Madame Kinky was there, per usual, with her entourage of 20, again per usual, but, as expected, she put on a spectacular show - with it being the beginning of summer, they had a "Pure as Snow" theme going. They started the show off with about 10 girls on their hands and knees wearing all white fuck gear pulling a sled full of more gorgeous women down a very white, very fluffy runway - there sure was a lot of ass slapping going on. It was very cute. I ran into Steve there - haven't seen him since Christmas, and he's still going out with that tramp that fucked his roommate behind his back - I can't believe him, he's such a sucker for a pretty face and big tits. Anyway, they had guys there on hands and knees, too, with those tails shoved in their asses - also very cute. Lots of boot licking going on. There was lots of the usual other stuff, too. I drank human blood for the first time. Not as hard as I thought...but I was drunk as hell.
June 26, 1996
It seems that the taste of human blood has awakened my thirst. Whatever hunger I thought I felt before doesn't even compare - I feel like the lioness in need of the hunt. Oh, very eloquently stated - I mean I'm hungry. No matter how much I drink I need more - I need more human blood, and I'm afraid that I'm going to have to kill.
June 28, 1996
Last night I went out and bought a prostitute far, far away from here. She was thin, too thin, but pretty. I felt bad about doing it, but I had to. I drove to a dark alley, and she was quiet the whole time, and when I reached over and pulled her closer to me, I could smell her faint perspiration - her fear, mixed in with the smell of the streets - a combination of sewer mist and hot asphalt. She didn't fight, even though I know she was afraid - like she wanted it. When I sank my canines into her neck, she shivered slightly, but that was it. She was warm and thick. It felt good.
June 30, 1996
There was a dead squirrel in my bushes this morning. The smell when I stepped out the door overwhelmed me - the strange thing is that it hadn't even been dead for that long, well at least it hadn't started decaying yet. I wouldn't even remark on it except that there was a dead bird on my back porch yesterday. It's like some sort of sign. Like my house is a house of death, like nature and the earth and the whole world know what I did the night before last. It frightens me, but at the same time I feel nothing. God, I was a fool to think that this would be all so simple, so clean. I've made a mess of everything. But I really haven't. No one knows. She won't be missed. I'm just overanalyzing, am being paranoid. A strange sensation took over me when I saw that dead squirrel - I wanted to pick it up and caress the dead thing. I refrained naturally, afraid that the neighbors may see. Odd, isn't it?
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