misc...

April 16, 1997
Speaking of my thumb (see March 20 below if you don't know what I'm talking about), the other day, well, first of all, I have this nasty habit of chewing the fuck out of my fingers -- all of them. You know, I just eat away at the skin surrounding my nail on my fingers. I do it while I'm sitting in class, in traffic, or when I'm watching a scary movie, basically whenever, or more accurately, all the time. My boyfriend hates it, my mother hates it, everyone's always slapping at my friggin hands; you'd think I was a kid and not the 23 year-old, mature adult that I really am. Anyway, the other day at work, I ripped off some skin and it went deeper than I had planned on it going and hurt like hell; it was on fire. So I'm running around cradling my thumb and one of my co-workers, who's also one of my favorite guys at work cause he's so cool, asks me what the hell is wrong. I show him my finger and explain how I injured myself and he exclaims, I mean really exclaims, you're thumb is swollen! I laughed and told him my thumb was just weird and held it up to my other one, my "normal" one, and he just looked on in horror. It was the funniest thing. He kept saying the damn thing was swollen and I kept having to tell him my thumb's just retarded. That's how much bigger that fucker is.

March 20, 1997
I have this aberrant thumb. My left thumb is twice as fat as my right thumb. It doesn't look really noticable -- I have to point it out for anyone to really see it. My boy friend gets a kick out of it. I think it got big cause I sliced my finger when I was a kid cutting oranges, but my dad tells me I got it from sucking my thumb. For some reason I have a hard time believing that a piece of my body would just get bigger cause I sucked on it -- if that were true, men would sit at home and suck their own dicks all day long, right? Anyway, so I was doing dishes the other day. I don't normally wear gloves but I've been on this kick lately about trying to preserve the softness of my hands so I went and bought gloves -- small, cause I'm a small girl, right? Well, they fit perfect except for my aberrant thumb. Poor thing feels like it's suffocating to death. Sucks to be my thumb, huh?

December 30, 1996
I had the most vivid dreams the other night. I dreamt that my English professor killed two of the students in her class. She just hacked them to death with a knife (I think this might be related to the movie I watched before I went to bed where 2 guys got hacked to death, too). I, along with everyone else in the class, had to act as though nothing was wrong because we were all afraid that she'd kill us, too. And this is one of my favorite professors and I have my fiction class with her next semester. Scary. Then, I dreamt that I invented this new cookie. I was so excited about it when I woke up, but I can't tell you what kind of cookies they were cause I wouldn't want you to steal my invention, but they sounded really yummy, and I've never seen cookies like them before. I thought about those damn cookies all day long.

Last night I kicked my boyfriend's robot by accident (I swear I didn't mean to;-) and my boyfriend freaked out. It was kind of funny, but I felt bad because he was so upset about it. He got it to talk last night - it said, "Stand back, or I'll blast you with my laser." Cute, huh?

December 27, 1996
My boyfriend just got this robot about a week ago - it's a Hero 1. He's been wanting one for forever, and he finally got it. He is so in love with that thing. I was talking to him on the phone last night and he put the damn thing on the phone to say "hi" to me. He said, "listen, honey!" all excited then put the phone up to the little gurgling machine, and I just smiled to myself. He used my towel the other day to clean the robot's skirt - can you believe it? - it's got a skirt. Cute. I think he wants to replace me with her.

December 16, 1996
I added something, but it was too big to put here. So I put it on its own page. It's probably the only thing on this whole site that I spent more than 15 minutes on - go read it!

September 23, 1996
My boyfriend and I went to Vegas this weekend. A bunch of my friends from work were supposed to go, too, but they all ended up flaking out except for Paul, who planned the trip in the first place (who we didn't end up hanging out with anyway), but it was a great trip (partly because I didn't have to drive at all). Friday we got there about 2 am and we just crashed - I swear, we getting old and we're only 22, but Saturday we went up and down the strip. We stayed at the Tropicana - they have a bunch of parrots and snakes and some marmoset monkeys which was cool, but I didn't like gambling there. We took the cab down to the Stratosphere and went to the top to look at the city. The outer observation deck isn't that scary - it's all fenced in, but in the inner one there's glass that you can kind of lean over to look down and it's totally unnerving because you're looking straight down and it feels like you're going to fall. We walked all over the strip and looked at a bunch of other stuff, too. We tried to get into a show, but they were all booked up. Next time we go we'll have to see one - I really want to see one, I love the thought of pretty little showgirls all dolled up wearing skimpy clothes prancing around the stage (I must have been male in my past lives). Sunday morning, we got in a fight and were going to leave without eating breakfast - we stopped at the gas station to fill up and Jack came over to my side and opened the door which the seat belt is attached to and totally lectured me about why we was mad and how he was justified, then 5 minutes later after paying for the gas, he came back and said in a small voice, "Want some beef jerky?" It was so cute - everything was fine after that and we ended up going to the MGM Grand for food. We ate at Erwine's New Orleans Fish House in the food court and it was the best restaurant in the world! Totally gourmet, yummy food for decent prices and the best, best service in the world! My boyfriend dropped his fork and our waiter practically ran to get him a new one. All the waiters were totally friendly and great - we had a bunch of people waiting on us. I highly recommend it. And the dealers in their casino were really great, too (at least the ones we dealt with at the roulette table).

September 16, 1996
I decided I'm going to have to change this page - I'll work on it later. I went and bought a power drill this last week - a Black and Decker drill - 3 amps, 120 volts, nothing fancy - it has a cord, and I have to use a key for the chuck, but I only paid 30 bucks for it. I love it, it is the greatest thing I've bought in the last month. I think that I've become obsessed with it, though. It's my very first power tool and I'm so excited - it's everything I thought it would be. Yesterday I went to the hardware store to buy more shelves (I've put in four shelves and a thing in my closet to hang my purses on, all with the help of my handy drill!) and I walked up and down the isles and oggled all the power tools. I can't wait to have my own place so I can fill my garage with power tools, lots and lots of power tools!

August 5, 1996
I moved the feedback form onto it's own page - don't foget to feed me every once in a while.

August 2, 1996
The Fetish Ball was this last Saturday and it was great. Read all about it here!

July 24, 1996
I miss my boyfriend. All this sexual frustration has ended up in a pulled tendon in my achilles heel. Damn.

July 18, 1996

Bible quote of the week: "And the dogs shall eat Jezebel"

"Why is it that some people only find hate in the bible?"
~Lulu Banes from the movie Elmer Gantry


Lulu Banes is a prostitute, her father's a preacher man. They don't speak much. On Christmas he called her - but only to tell her that the "dogs will eat Jezebel." A father concerned for the soul of his daughter? Or just an old fashioned asshole? We'll go with asshole.


The July sexy magazine cover of the month award goes to Details magazine with their cover picture of Gavin (of Bush) and Shirley (of Garbage) (unfortunately, you can no longer get the July issue in most stores - the August issue is already out). Inside you'll find more great pictures of Shirley, and her Ten Commandments of Love. I've included some of the more interesting commandments here.

"Thou shalt wear boxers or nothing at all"
"I love it when I pulled down a boy's pants and he's got no knickers on."
"Thou shalt honor my bodily fluids"
"You shouldn't have to be scrubbed down clean before you have sex. I hate boys who are frightened of pee and shit and menstrual blood. I say no to boys who want to wake up next to a fully made-up woman. I say no to boys who prefer stockings and garters to perfect nudity...I want a man who will let me pee in his belly button. I want a man to accept the beast in me."
"Thou shalt embrace cunnilingus fully"
"...A real man gives head...Get down, get busy, or get out."
"Thou shalt be prepared to be unprepared"
"I think everyone is mad about sex in unexpected places...I've enjoyed cares, empty building sites, and bathrooms that weren't mine. I love trains because they are unbearably sexy. However, I draw the line at airplanes...I associate them with impending death and everything hideous about the world. So even if Brad Pitt came up to me on a plane and said, "I need you immediately." I'd have to say, "Not right now, dear."

-Shirley Manson, of Garbage.


July 18, 1996

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that while my boyfriend (who tells me I have to call him Jack from now on. I told him I didn't want to. He said I had to) was in the shower, I was on his bed kissing one of his roomates. His roommate was on top of me, I think I was naked and he was wearing a pair of jeans, and we were under the covers of Jack's bed and when he got out of the shower he saw us there and didn't even say anything! (believe me, this would never happen in real life) Then later on, in a different part of my dream, I was comforting my roommate's boyfriend by rubbing his head with an white, wet towel and feeding him blue Otter pops. He was upset because my roommate was away, but when she called he wouldn't answer the phone. Then an old roommate, speed freak friend of mine came over and I haven't seen her in a long time and she came over to what appeared to be my house to visit a friend of ours that seemed to be living there, too. And his fat mom was Tad, the intern at KROQ (If you don't live in Southern California the radio station will probably be meaningless to you). There was also lots of sand, cliff climbing, and kittens involved but I can't remember exactly how they fit into the plot.

July 16, 1996

O.k, so I walked around all day with my underwear on inside out and didn't even notice it til after lunchtime. But then, who the hell cares if my panties are inside out or not?



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