April 16, 1997
Speaking of my thumb (see March 20 below if you don't know what I'm talking
about), the other day, well, first of all, I have this nasty habit of
chewing the fuck out of my fingers -- all of them. You know, I just eat
away at the skin surrounding my nail on my fingers. I do it while I'm
sitting in class, in traffic, or when I'm watching a scary movie, basically
whenever, or more accurately, all the time. My boyfriend hates it, my
mother hates it, everyone's always slapping at my friggin hands; you'd
think I was a kid and not the 23 year-old, mature adult that I really
am. Anyway, the other day at work, I ripped off some skin and it went
deeper than I had planned on it going and hurt like hell; it was on fire.
So I'm running around cradling my thumb and one of my co-workers, who's
also one of my favorite guys at work cause he's so cool, asks me what
the hell is wrong. I show him my finger and explain how I injured myself
and he exclaims, I mean really exclaims, you're thumb is swollen! I laughed
and told him my thumb was just weird and held it up to my other one, my
"normal" one, and he just looked on in horror. It was the funniest thing.
He kept saying the damn thing was swollen and I kept having to tell him
my thumb's just retarded. That's how much bigger that fucker is.
March 20, 1997
I have this aberrant thumb. My left thumb is twice as fat as my right
thumb. It doesn't look really noticable -- I have to point it out for
anyone to really see it. My boy friend gets a kick out of it. I think
it got big cause I sliced my finger when I was a kid cutting oranges,
but my dad tells me I got it from sucking my thumb. For some reason I
have a hard time believing that a piece of my body would just get bigger
cause I sucked on it -- if that were true, men would sit at home and suck
their own dicks all day long, right? Anyway, so I was doing dishes the
other day. I don't normally wear gloves but I've been on this kick lately
about trying to preserve the softness of my hands so I went and bought
gloves -- small, cause I'm a small girl, right? Well, they fit perfect
except for my aberrant thumb. Poor thing feels like it's suffocating to
death. Sucks to be my thumb, huh?
December 30, 1996
I had the most vivid dreams the other night. I dreamt that my English
professor killed two of the students in her class. She just hacked them
to death with a knife (I think this might be related to the movie I watched
before I went to bed where 2 guys got hacked to death, too). I, along
with everyone else in the class, had to act as though nothing was wrong
because we were all afraid that she'd kill us, too. And this is one of
my favorite professors and I have my fiction class with her next semester.
Scary. Then, I dreamt that I invented this new cookie. I was so excited
about it when I woke up, but I can't tell you what kind of cookies they
were cause I wouldn't want you to steal my invention, but they sounded
really yummy, and I've never seen cookies like them before. I thought
about those damn cookies all day long.
Last night I kicked
my boyfriend's robot by accident (I swear I didn't mean to;-) and my boyfriend
freaked out. It was kind of funny, but I felt bad because he was so upset
about it. He got it to talk last night - it said, "Stand back, or I'll
blast you with my laser." Cute, huh?
December 27, 1996
My boyfriend just got this robot about a week ago - it's a Hero 1. He's
been wanting one for forever, and he finally got it. He is so in love
with that thing. I was talking to him on the phone last night and he put
the damn thing on the phone to say "hi" to me. He said, "listen, honey!"
all excited then put the phone up to the little gurgling machine, and
I just smiled to myself. He used my towel the other day to clean the robot's
skirt - can you believe it? - it's got a skirt. Cute. I think he wants
to replace me with her.
December 16, 1996
I added something, but it was too big to put here. So I put it on its
own page. It's probably the only thing on this whole site that I spent
more than 15 minutes on - go read it!
My boyfriend and I went to Vegas this weekend. A bunch of my friends from
work were supposed to go, too, but they all ended up flaking out except
for Paul, who planned the trip in the first place (who we didn't end up
hanging out with anyway), but it was a great trip (partly because I didn't
have to drive at all). Friday we got there about 2 am and we just crashed
- I swear, we getting old and we're only 22, but Saturday we went up and
down the strip. We stayed at the Tropicana - they have a bunch of parrots
and snakes and some marmoset monkeys which was cool, but I didn't like
gambling there. We took the cab down to the Stratosphere and went to the
top to look at the city. The outer observation deck isn't that scary -
it's all fenced in, but in the inner one there's glass that you can kind
of lean over to look down and it's totally unnerving because you're looking
straight down and it feels like you're going to fall. We walked all over
the strip and looked at a bunch of other stuff, too. We tried to get into
a show, but they were all booked up. Next time we go we'll have to see
one - I really want to see one, I love the thought of pretty little showgirls
all dolled up wearing skimpy clothes prancing around the stage (I must
have been male in my past lives). Sunday morning, we got in a fight and
were going to leave without eating breakfast - we stopped at the gas station
to fill up and Jack came over to my side and opened the door which the
seat belt is attached to and totally lectured me about why we was mad
and how he was justified, then 5 minutes later after paying for the gas,
he came back and said in a small voice, "Want some beef jerky?" It was
so cute - everything was fine after that and we ended up going to the
MGM Grand for food. We ate at Erwine's New Orleans Fish House in the food
court and it was the best restaurant in the world! Totally gourmet, yummy
food for decent prices and the best, best service in the world! My boyfriend
dropped his fork and our waiter practically ran to get him a new one.
All the waiters were totally friendly and great - we had a bunch of people
waiting on us. I highly recommend it. And the dealers in their casino
were really great, too (at least the ones we dealt with at the roulette
I decided I'm going to have to change this page - I'll work on it later.
I went and bought a power drill this last week - a Black and Decker drill
- 3 amps, 120 volts, nothing fancy - it has a cord, and I have to use
a key for the chuck, but I only paid 30 bucks for it. I love it, it is
the greatest thing I've bought in the last month. I think that I've become
obsessed with it, though. It's my very first power tool and I'm so excited
- it's everything I thought it would be. Yesterday I went to the hardware
store to buy more shelves (I've put in four shelves and a thing in my
closet to hang my purses on, all with the help of my handy drill!) and
I walked up and down the isles and oggled all the power tools. I can't
wait to have my own place so I can fill my garage with power tools, lots
and lots of power tools!
August 5, 1996
I moved the feedback form onto it's own page - don't foget to
feed me every once in a while.
August 2, 1996
The Fetish Ball was this last Saturday and
it was great. Read all about it
July 24, 1996
I miss my boyfriend. All this sexual frustration has ended up in a pulled
tendon in my achilles heel. Damn.
July 18, 1996
of the week: "And the dogs shall eat Jezebel"
"Why is it that
some people only find hate in the bible?"
~Lulu Banes from the movie Elmer Gantry
Lulu Banes is a prostitute, her father's a preacher man. They don't speak
much. On Christmas he called her - but only to tell her that the "dogs will
eat Jezebel." A father concerned for the soul of his daughter? Or just an
old fashioned asshole? We'll go with asshole.
July sexy magazine cover of the month award goes to Details
magazine with their cover picture of Gavin (of Bush) and Shirley
(of Garbage) (unfortunately, you can no longer get the July issue
in most stores - the August issue is already out). Inside you'll
find more great pictures of Shirley, and her Ten Commandments of
Love. I've included some of the more interesting commandments here.
wear boxers or nothing at all"
"I love it when I pulled down a boy's pants and he's got no knickers
"Thou shalt honor my bodily fluids"
"You shouldn't have to be scrubbed down clean before you have
sex. I hate boys who are frightened of pee and shit and menstrual
blood. I say no to boys who want to wake up next to a fully made-up
woman. I say no to boys who prefer stockings and garters to perfect
nudity...I want a man who will let me pee in his belly button.
I want a man to accept the beast in me."
"Thou shalt embrace cunnilingus fully"
"...A real man gives head...Get down, get busy, or get out."
"Thou shalt be prepared to be unprepared"
"I think everyone is mad about sex in unexpected places...I've
enjoyed cares, empty building sites, and bathrooms that weren't
mine. I love trains because they are unbearably sexy. However,
I draw the line at airplanes...I associate them with impending
death and everything hideous about the world. So even if Brad
Pitt came up to me on a plane and said, "I need you immediately."
I'd have to say, "Not right now, dear."
Manson, of Garbage.
July 18, 1996
I had the
weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that while my boyfriend (who tells
me I have to call him Jack from now on. I told him I didn't want to. He
said I had to) was in the shower, I was on his bed kissing one of his
roomates. His roommate was on top of me, I think I was naked and he was
wearing a pair of jeans, and we were under the covers of Jack's bed and
when he got out of the shower he saw us there and didn't even say anything!
(believe me, this would never happen in real life) Then later on,
in a different part of my dream, I was comforting my roommate's boyfriend
by rubbing his head with an white, wet towel and feeding him blue Otter
pops. He was upset because my roommate was away, but when she called he
wouldn't answer the phone. Then an old roommate, speed freak friend of
mine came over and I haven't seen her in a long time and she came over
to what appeared to be my house to visit a friend of ours that seemed
to be living there, too. And his fat mom was Tad, the intern at KROQ (If
you don't live in Southern California the radio station will probably
be meaningless to you). There was also lots of sand, cliff climbing, and
kittens involved but I can't remember exactly how they fit into the plot.
July 16, 1996
O.k, so I
walked around all day with my underwear on inside out and didn't even
notice it til after lunchtime. But then, who the hell cares if my panties
are inside out or not?
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